‘Because when women support women amazing things happen.’
I was fourteen when I first felt the acid tongue of women when they are out for blood. You know the one, where they strip you of your self-esteem in ten words or less.
A friend and I fell out, she had been trying to get into a popular group of mean girls for some time but wasn’t having much luck. Her demeanour began to change so we fought, then she went her way and I went mine.
She used our fight to get into this group by spreading a rumour that my friend and I had been gossiping about them, and it worked. That afternoon I received a message from the leader of the group demanding that my friend and I meet her in an empty hall.
I don’t know why I went, I knew full well she would not be alone, and she wasn’t. There were at least five of them, and standing foot firm in the middle was my former friend grinning from ear to ear.
If you log into social media you won’t have to scroll far before you see women ripping each other apart. There is something ingrained that tells us when we see another woman we must fight. Fight for our space, fight for attention, fight for our man, fight to be better, just fight. And we do it in the only way we know, with the sharpest side of our tongue.
We gossip about her clothes, her hair, we giggle about her weight, we make snide comments about her love life, her job, her children. We post passive aggressive statuses, demeaning comments. Anything that raises our position above her while pushing her further down the ladder of self-esteem.
We do all this not realising that what our actions really say is that we are afraid. We are insecure, we are not confident in our job or our relationship, we want more but we don’t know how to get it. We want what she has, we want to be where she is, we want to be her.
Over the last few years, I have gone on a real journey of self-discovery. What I have learnt is that we are all on our own personal journey whether we know it or not. How much more easier would it be if we helped each other along the way, if only we could lay down those fighting gloves.
We all need encouragement, we all need reassurance. We all need another woman we can turn to who will listen, and hold our hand, or tell us to snap out of it. But most of all we need women who celebrate our achievements as though it is their own.
In a society that expects women to be everything and nothing all at once, what we need are women who stand for each other, by each other and with one another. Because there is nothing more beautiful than seeing women support women. Women who can say ‘we are enough, whatever we look like, whatever our choices, wherever we are in life.’
So let me start; you are enough. You are smart enough, you are pretty enough, you are strong enough. You are going to make waves in this world. From one imperfect woman to another, you are more than enough.
Pass it on.